Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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