I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
