yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
