dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
