i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize