8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
