3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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