he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
