she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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