just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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