I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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