There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize