Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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