2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
