That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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