it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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