Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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