He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
