If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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