Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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