The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
