good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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