I'm drive I can fine osifer
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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