I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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