can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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