Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
