Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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