the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
soo... how was my night?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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