my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
