So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
