Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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