Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
