I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
