He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
