It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
