He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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