My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
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