Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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