Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
What drink are we having for lunch?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
