You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
