Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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