Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
