some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
