I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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