My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
