Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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