At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
