; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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