I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
