Me. At least after what I've been through.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
