I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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