I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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