its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
