someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
