Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
