that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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