even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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