anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
