Well apparently he's into motor boating.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
