Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
