Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Ketchup is God's man juice
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
