He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
